Liberating Lawyers for Life
A day for peace and authentic connecting
Offered as a firm-sponsored day or for individuals
The Challenge - Lawyer Stress and Disconnection
Lawyers are mired in a cycle of stress, anxiety and disconnection. The effects of the demanding, adversarial profession are well known:
• Highest depression rate of any profession
• Suicidal ideation three times higher
• 36% suffer from alcohol abuse (5X the national average)
The causes are many: billable hour requirements, excessive workload, client demands, conflicting deadlines, constant multi-tasking demands, business generation pressure, law firm management demands, etc.
The adversary nature of our profession exacerbates these stressors. We find ourselves embroiled in our clients’ conflicts. Our clients’ demands that we win, the lack of control that we have over our opponents, courts, and juries, and our own egos create a combustible mix of anxiety.
The attorney wellness programs, however well-intentioned, deal with the symptoms but often do not touch the underlying causes. We are taught to solve all problems from the neck up – analyzing everything with our brains, relying on cerebral analysis to answer every question. When we do so, we abandon the tremendous intelligence that resides in our bodies.
We cannot cure anxiety, depression and substance abuse with band aids. Or by merely thinking about those band aids. Instead, we need to address directly the disconnection from our bodies and the lack of authentic, truly meaningful connections with the people in our lives.
Peace is not the absence of stress. It is the capacity to meet stress without losing ourselves — our bodies, our partners, our sense of who we are outside the the practice of law.
That capacity can be learned. Not through another lecture, article on work-life balance, or a traditional attorney wellness session, but through direct experience: in the body, in real time, with the person who knows us best.
This is where we begin.
Human happiness depends on more than cerebral analysis. Societal conditioning makes us reluctant to share what is truly alive in us, makes us ashamed of our fears, and precludes us from expressing our emotions.
As a result, we are imprisoned by these patterns – reinforced by our profession’s expectation that we are unfailingly well adjusted. To truly make progress, we need to learn to express, to trust, to live without these artificial constraints.
Our personal lives are not separate from our professional ones. The anxiety, stress and disconnection we feel in our law practice affect directly our relationships with our romantic partners. Just as we have been conditioned to not betray any perceived weaknesses or our true feelings at work, we often erect similar barriers at home.
And we have been doing it for so long that we don’t even realize it. Many of us have never known a different way.
We need community, not isolation. But the artificial confines on our expression have isolated us from our communities, leaving us to navigate life largely alone even when we are surrounded by others.
Loneliness is not the absence of people. Loneliness is the inability to confide what really matters to us in the people around us.
The Path Toward Lawyers' Peace and Calm
The Retreat for a Paradigm Shift
What if we could open to truth instead of hiding behind the veneer of impregnable confidence?
What if we could talk openly and honestly not just about our successes, but also about our fears, losses, shame?
What if our colleagues, friends and partners could approach us with curiosity instead of judgment?
It is time. It is time to break through the barriers we never wanted.
It is time to be unabashedly ourselves.
It is then – and only then – that we can be truly free.
Our innovative program helps lawyers and their partners find peace, integrate their bodies, and achieve levels of human connection they had not experienced.
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An Experience Unlike Any Other
This is not your father's CLE.
Learn, share, and connect like never before.
Participants will ...
Understand effects of adversariness and disconnection
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Learn and practice nervous system regulation – critical both at work and at home
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Learn the Ten Principles of evolved partnership
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Learn and practice rituals that create emotional intimacy, foster greater understanding and empathy, and diminish stress and disconnection
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How It Works
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Format: A single immersive day, held in person, for lawyers and their romantic partners together (individuals are also welcome — see FAQ).
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Group size: Kept small enough so every couple has room to be seen and supported.
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Setting: A private retreat setting that allows participants to relax and engage. The program is offered anywhere (we love to travel!).
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Sponsorship: Available as a firm-sponsored wellness day, offered to a consortium of firms, to groups of lawyers, or to individual couples.
FAQ:
Q: Do I need to come with my romantic partner?
A: While romantic partnership skills are of central importance, the practices we will introduce enable those participating individually to practice with other singles
Q: How is confidentiality assured?
A: We begin with several key agreements. Chief among them is confidentiality. What is experienced during the program stays among us. The firm sponsoring the program already has agreed to maintain this strict confidence.
Q: Do I have to participate in every practice?
A: You are invited but never required to participate. We are confident that you will find the practices approachable, but if at any time you feel the need to sit out and simply observe, you are free to do so.
Q: Will there be an opportunity for integration after the program?
A: Yes, both during and after. The program day includes opportunities for participants to share their insights and challenges. A few weeks after the program, we will host a Zoom call during which participants will be invited to share their takeaways and how the intervening weeks have informed their newfound relating skills.
Q: Will there be an opportunity to deepen further into the concepts?
A: Yes. This program is a potent introduction that can pave the way for those interested to learn more. Those opportunities include other group experiences as well as individual ones that are tailored specifically to each person’s or each couple’s interests and needs.
Q: How large will the group be?
A: The program is suitable for a wide range of participants. We tailor each day to the desires of each firm or group, so let's discuss.
Meet Your Guides
Roman has been a trial lawyer for 34 years, representing both plaintiffs and defendants in many areas. Having lived in the crucible of litigation, he knows well the challenges that lawyers face in balancing their responsibilities to clients, firms and families. He has participated in and led many programs focused on expanding understanding of self and building authentic connections with partners and friends. He is devoted to helping lawyers improve the quality of their lives through understanding and addressing the stressors that adversely impact their practices and personal lives.
Hallie is an occupational therapist, birth doula, certified myofascial release practitioner, and founder of the Magdalene Manifestation Temple, a sanctuary for women called to live, love, and lead. Her work is a fusion of mystical devotion and grounded embodiment.
Together, Roman and Hallie lead immersive retreats and on-line programs that promote in couples an improved understanding and appreciation of each other, teach skills that allow couples to create transformational closeness, and design custom experiences tailored to the specific needs of each group. They raised five children and devote their lives to leading men, women and couples into new phases of life full of authentic connection and emotional intimacy.
Hallie possesses the unique gift of deep spiritual intelligence along with a curious sense of adventure that is truly contagious. Attendees will learn about themselves and return home inspired to keep exploring- I know I did!
